You can’t make this shit up…

Snow Plowing just got FUN.

So, after 7 years of plowing (and hating it 95.79% of the time) I discover the missing link: blueberry beer!  Thank you Chip’s Store for always having a handy dandy, cold supply.
All those years I bitched about the DickHead who plowed at my former home… WHILE he was drinking beer. Turns out he was right all along.
2 blueberry beers into it and it took me 3 attempts to back a wide farm tractor into a narrow garage (usually I get it right the first time). But hey, I did not swear once while plowing even while trying to:
  • hold my beer,
  • shift,
  • steer, and
  • work the plow hydraulic lever.

Well, that is until I finished plowing, moved my car out of the tractor’s side of the garage (with the 2×4 propped overhead door), and got back on my tractor to put it away… yup, the damned snow plow goes by and plugs the end of my driveway again.

Hey, one F bomb is a whole lot less than normal.
Beer is now part of the process…
BTW Mom: please tell Dad I need a bottle holder installed on my tractor.
Don’t worry Mom… you did not fail as a parent.
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BACKSTORY:
This day has been a friggin’ snowy fiasco.
  1. Garage door broken.
  2. Can’t get tractor out to plow.
  3. Have to fight with said door for an hour and then prop it open with a 2 x 4.
  4. Tractor runs out of gas because this piss poor X Girl Scout isn’t prepared with gas. AND… she knew a winter storm was coming.
  5. Finally I am coming home with the gas to finish plowing.
Funny enough, I have picked up a six pack of blueberry beer too.
On we go…
So the story gets better. Eli, my 15 year old, is giving me shit because I have beer:
“what did you buy beer for mom?”
I say: “if I have to plow the driveway on a No. Co., redneck, old farm tractor I’m going to do it like a proper, happy, No. Co. redneck.”
So then I spill my beer on top of the clothes washer. Eli quickly grabs a towel to wipe it up. I flip out and yell at him to stop. Which, I have to give him credit: quick thinking & action but…
I run to the kitchen, pull apart a tincture bottle, and use the dropper to suck the beer up off the top of the washer. To which Eli says, “nothing says crazy, drunk bitch like this! “
How have I NOT ruined my awesome kids?
Did I mention my 15 year old never made it to school, which had been delayed 2 hours, but the above snow, garage door, plowing, gas, and beer fiasco trumped school for the day.   Shhh, don’t tell his Dad…
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Say No To EVERY Form of Hormonal Birth Control

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From the time I was old enough to know what hormonal birth control was (in my younger days only the “pill” was available. Now hormonal birth control is invading females’ bodies in many forms.) I always had this gut feeling: “there is just something wrong with hormones being used to tamper with female’s bodies. This is not normal, natural, and cannot be good for the body in any way, shape, or form.”

For years I worked in OB/GYN nursing watching hormonal birth control pills getting shoved down the throats of teens, sometimes as soon as they started their periods. BC pills were prescribed to young teen girls for various reasons:

  • to regulate the cycle (what teen, just starting to have periods, has a regular cycle. menstruation doesn’t just start one day and immediately it’s the perfect 28 day cycle anymore than a woman goes through menopause having perfect 28 day cycles and then they just stop. Ok, we are finished now.)
  • for acne (seriously people… teach the kid how to eat whole foods as nature intended)
  • to control bleeding (again… change eating & lifestyle habits)
  • to control headaches

I phased into teaching junior & senior high health ed classes in public school, private schools, colleges, and community based non-profits. Over 20+ years, the percentage of young girls I saw who were on the pill* rose steadily. The beginning age that many girls are put on hormonal birth control kept dropping.

Hormonal birth control is an area where much education is needed. Moms, in desperation to help their daughters, listen to the medical explanation about how helpful hormonal birth control is for their daughter’s “menstrual” issues. Mothers and daughters are told how it is actually healthier for the daughters to be on the pill than not on the pill.

I can see how this early prescription for hormonal BC happens.   Mothers just wants what is seemingly best for her daughter.  The doctor does know best… correct?

When I was a teen, there was a deep space of common sense inside me that made me realize there was nothing good or natural about hormonal birth control. Three plus decades later, we know the horrible side and long-term effects that women have experienced with menopausal hormone replacement therapies. We are now starting to learn the horrors of hormonal birth control.

As a Natural & Functional Medicine Health Educator, I work with clients one on one. I have seen the ravages of hormonal birth control on womens’ lives.

  • mood disorders
  • chronic depression
  • low or no libido
  • digestive tract ills
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • brain fog
  • headaches
  • and more

I have worked with women to wean off the pill, repair the damage and deficiencies, heal the gut, end the depressive cycles, and get their lives back after sometimes years on hormonal birth control.

Educate yourself. Educate your daughters and granddaughters. Educate your husbands and your sons so they are advocates for their daughters & partners to not be using any form of hormonal birth control.

Learn more.

A medical doctors thoughts on hormonal birth control:

5 Reasons To Rethink Your Birth Control Method

published in mindbodygreen

A very insightful book to raise questions about the wisdom in avoiding all hormonal methods of birth control.

the pill

Order from Amazon.com

 

When it comes to caring for your body… nature knows best.

*on the pill can now be many forms of hormonal BC: on the oral BC pill, hormonal shots of birth control, implants, cervical rings, IUDs with hormones… and the list grows of ways we can alter a womans menstrual cycle with synthetic hormones.

Dancing with Menopause’s Magic

dancing wise woman

It has been a bit of time since I posted here! Take a seat dear female friends… I have much to tell you and good Menopausal Magic to share with your feminine spirits.

My Natural Health Education / Functional Medicine Consultation practice is a busy space for me to be in!  And… I have been up to other stuff as well: new book released co-authored with a dearly loved, local healer friend, Jenny Morrill.

And…Keep reading for a peak into the new Vaginal Love herbal product I am releasing, soon, with another local healer and dear soul sister: Acupuncturist Shelby Connelly of Five Elements Living Retreat Center in Colton, NY.

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Our New Book To Inspire Your Self Healing

I am here today to share a bit of Menopausal Magical Wisdom. I confess, I do not have many symptoms of menopause. Once in a while a skipped period… but that is to be expected at 52.

Keeping the body healthy and avoiding symptoms of any dis – ease is an easy path to walk when you commit to self-care, self healing:

  1. Whole Food Eating 100% of the time
  2. Whole Health Lifestyle Choices

If interested in healing self… the resources on my Natural Health Education website can get you there for Free if you are committed to you!

So, what if I do have some symptoms of menopause, Paula?

Hot flashes, gushing periods leaking all over the place, moodiness, heart palpitations, etc., etc., etc?

Following the above whole food & whole health choices will self heal these menopausal change challenges.

Using herbs to nourish the body back to health is another great choice to assist the above whole health living habits. Herbs are plants. Plants are food. Food nourishes body cells.

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Red Raspberry Leaves tone the uterus. Who doesn’t want a fit, muscular, sexy uterus at any age? This helps to prevent all the “medical reasons” we get advised to cut it out of our bodies. Keep your beautiful uterus… it was meant to be in your pelvis: the bowl of your feminine wisdom!

Red Clover Flowers balance hormones and help to clean the blood.

Stinging Nettle Leaves are an awesome, amazing, whole body cell nourisher. If you took the time to read the Whole Food link back there… you now know that nourishing your body cells is key to vibrant health!

Motherwort: Hot flashes, heart palpitations, and moodiness anyone? Feel like you are about to snap? Let your Mother love you up.

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Sarsaparilla Root: a healthy liver breaks down hormones to be excreted through the colon. Sarsaparilla root helps to keep the liver healthy and doing its job of detoxing and breaking down hormones. Dandelion root, burdock root, and milk thistle seeds are other liver nourishing herbs to assist in healthy liver menopausal magic. (Shhhh, I did not make this tincture!)

sarsaparilla

Flooding periods leaving a mess in your life (and clothes? Not to mention car seat, bed…) Wild Yam to the rescue! Years ago I used wild yam for birth control but that is another topic.   ; )     I came home to wild yam after I had my first, and only I might add, flooding period. I take 3 of these capsules every AM & every PM. No floods ever again for me. I suspect Wild Yam also nourishes my body cells to create a peaceful & magical menopausal transition for me (along with my whole food & living habits.)  So many women suffer from flooding and are told to get ablation (I would never, ever, recommend this procedure to anyone… find the root cause of your struggles and heal them!) and/or a hysterectomy (another procedure I would not recommend save for the very extreme reasons). Wild Yam also helps to keep our bones strong well into our Medicine Woman / Crone Wisdom Years! (This Link will take you to several post I have written on the magical nourishing effects of Wild Yam.)

Stay with me here good Women… I have a lot to say after so long a hiatus!

wild yam

OK, another HUGE issue with the menopausal years in what the medical field calls vaginal atrophy. Let me just say, creating such negative terms around the female body is just wrong. It keeps us in the mentality that there is something wrong with our bodies, that our feminine organs are innately weak and malfunctioning. This my friends is pure and unadulterated bullshit. We are strong; we have powerful and wise feminine organs!

If we follow Wise Woman Nourishing Healing Ways… see all my whole food / whole health suggestions above… our vaginas can remain strong even as we age.

Will they not age?

No, we can’t be silly, aging happens.

But, we can age with grace, strength, and divine dignity!

Eat well, play well, whole food – whole health yourself up, use herbs to nourish that which needs nourishing, have sex, do kegels… AND… here’s the biggy I have been waiting to share:

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A while back in my Wise Woman blogging career, I wrote a post on Voluptuous Vagina™’s.  At that point, I had been making a vaginal cream / ointment for a couple of years. I had friends and clients who complained of the vaginal dryness and issues that accompany aging in our amazing female bodies. I, of course, recommended all of the whole health lifestyle changes but I also whipped up this above Luxe Feminine Emollient pictured as I had a 60 year old gal friend who wanted relief and comfortable sex with her new man. It is now several years later and I have shared the formula with a handful (or two) of friends and clients who just love it!

I was telling my acupunturist friend & soul sister, Shelby Connelly, of this magic elixir I make for friends and she said…

  • Let’s perfect it and go into business together. I said,
  • You are kidding, right?  To which she replied…
  • Hell No!

And so the story goes… we have started our self care, self healing business together.

Voluptuous V™ is available now, click here.

Sending healing, feminine love, Paula

 

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New Book: Lucy Pearce, Full Circle Health

From Lucy Pearce, Cork, Ireland… powerful female writer!

Lucy Pearce's Profile Photo, Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, closeup

“So… Full Circle Health… the book I wrote when I couldn’t write Medicine Woman in the first part of this year… is available to pre-order! I’m very proud of it – it’s not just a book… but a charting system!

http://shop.womancraftpublishing.com/Full-Circle-Health-integrated-health-charting-for-p/fch.htm

For most of my adult life I have been trying to explore and express what it means to inhabit my cyclical female body. I have picked up many tools and tried many approaches to charting my inner and outer life. I have charted my menstrual cycles, my moods, energy, habits, food intake, dreams… This was done in various written journals, sketchbooks, Excel spreadsheets, Leonie Dawson’s Life and Business Planners… not to mention my dream journal and cycle-tracking diary. So many books and scraps of paper piled beside my bed, with my computer balanced precariously on top. Keeping track of my health and life was almost a full-time job… but guaranteed I could never lay my hands on the right book at the right time.”

Cozying Up to the Collective Soul

 

forest Scene

Over the couse of my lifetime I had been taught to look to a higher power for strength; pray to God for needs. This cultural teaching puts some unknown power at the center of everything: this all knowing, all powerful, male figure.

Intuitively, I always knew there was something that just was not right with this. As a kid, we trust and believe the adults around us know more than we do.

I have always been enamoured with the natural world and could feel its amazing power and energy. Everything living and things we think of as inanimate (soil, rocks, water, mountains)  are infused with amazing, vibrational energy.  There is universal wisdom, waiting to teach and share with you, in everything.

16872004 - river and shaft beam of light

As I grew over the years and decades of my life, I have come back to what we intuitively know as humans: the divine lies within each of us and within everything. Spirit, life force energy, the Collective Soul is a part of every being and every thing on this planet including the planet as a whole.

When we honor the divine in everyone and everything, Namaste-Blessed Be-Mitakuye Oyasin, we live life from a space of gentle peacefulness, wonder, and gratitude for everything.

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Wise Woman Nurse®  yoga

I invite you to see and feel this divine energy within yourself. You are part of the divine energy of the universe: the Collective Soul, the Cosmic Spirit.  Embrace this, truly and deeply embrace this, and feel the transfomation in how you just Be.

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